Call for Heroes: Pompolic Wars Review

Call for Heroes: Pompolic Wars fancies itself to be an Action-RPG, but after spending some painful time with the game I have to disagree. Call for Heroes is more like a platform game. A pretty old platform game. A pretty old and tedious platform game. A pretty old, tedious, and frustrating platform game. If I haven't put you off of the game already, or if you're just curious as to what makes this game so bad, let's continue…

The game's entire story is conveyed on a single page in the manual, and involves you stopping a demonic invasion led by the demon Pompolic. That's the last you'll see of the story as the game doesn't even bother to give you any introductory text let alone a single cutscene. Not that it really matters, though, as not even Tolkien could weave a tale to save this turkey.

Each of the levels is basically the same. You're dropped into the level and tasked with collecting a set number of dark soul tokens before a timer expires. These tokens sit floating above the ground in scattered locations around the level and to collect them you simply need to run over them. The levels look like they were designed by a ten year old playing with a level editor for a console platform game. Ramps, walkways, low walls, and piles of boxes are scattered around haphazardly and seem to serve no purpose other than to force you to jump on something to collect a token or power-up. Each level is completely covered with various items to pick-up, none of which is very interesting, giving the whole thing the look and feel of a bad platform game for a console. The tokens that you need to collect to complete a level are invariably stuck in corners somewhere and finding them is often simply a matter of looking for every wall intersection that you can find in the level.

Standing in your way is a handful of creatures that ceaselessly pop-up out of nowhere and attack you. These creatures either run right up to you and begin chomping away until you click them to death or they hang back and spit out homing energy balls that follow you around until they strike. The monotony of clicking the mouse button while facing in the general direction of your enemy is only broken by the frustration that you'll feel as a result of your character having only about 10 hit points. You'll die quickly and easily, and when you do the game will reset the entire level, drop you back at the beginning, and make you start all over again. The developers probably decided to make your character so frail to prevent you from completing the entire game in an hour or so, but the side effect is that the game can be incredibly frustrating. This frustration is compounded as you make your way through the game because the later levels simply mob you with enemies. You're only real option is to try and ignore all of the enemies and simply run around each level grabbing the tokens - and I use the term "run" loosely because you have all of the speed of a dachshund wearing ankle weights in this game. In each level you can expect to run in circles for about a half hour looking for those last couple of tokens while a parade of monster clones follows you around. Are we having fun yet?

I could go into the numerous other problems with the game such as the minimal number of weapon and armor upgrades available, the imprecise controls, and the clipping and collision detection issues rampant in the game, but there's not really any need to do so. There are plenty of problems and no redeeming qualities in Call for Heroes, and it simply is not worth your time and money.

In The End, This Game Hath Been Rated: 15%. Don't answer this call. Just let it ring and pretend you're not home.


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