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| Prepare to repeat this exciting command 1,000,000 times. |
Your virtual home is divided up into a number of rooms with a hodgepodge of
interactive items, but as you can probably guess they are all pretty tedious.
For example, you can walk up to the TV and if you align yourself with it
perfectly you’ll have a “pick up remote” action become available. You can then
pick up the remote and turn on the TV and change channels by repeating the
action, with your reward being a couple frames of squiggly animation on the
little TV. When you’re ready to move on, you have to select the “tidy” option to
put the remote down because until you “tidy” you can’t do anything else in the
game other than change TV channels. For some strange reason, the “tidy” action
will cause the screen to fade out and then back in again as if turning off the
TV or what have you requires the game to reload itself. You won’t spend much
time screwing around with anything as the payoff is non-existent and it just
eats up valuable time that you need to use to bore your dog to death with the
same commands over and over again before mom bot makes you go to bed again.
Dogz begins with three simple questions that imply that you will find a dog
to fit your personality, but after entering the answers you’re taken to a pet
shop filled with dogs that don’t quite match up to what you specified. It
doesn’t really matter anyway because every dog in the game seems to behave in
the exact same way. What’s the point of the questions? I don’t know. I’m still
trying to figure out the point in actually playing the game. It may be easy to
pass this off as a game for young kids. After all, they can watch the same
videos over and over again without ever growing tired of them. But when it comes
down to it, don’t your kids deserve better? Do you want to teach them to be a
button-pushing automaton or to give them something that will challenge their
developing minds?
In The End, This Game Hath Been Rated:
40%. The “z” in Dogz is for the snores this game produces in its players.
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