Meet Barbara Jo

Barbara Jo Bimbo

Interview by Garland Merriwether
Photography by Barnabas Savage

VITAL STATS

BORN: May 12, 1983
HOMETOWN: Airhead, California
MAJOR: Communications
HEIGHT: 5’9”
WEIGHT: 130
MEASUREMENTS: 34-20-34
TURN-ONS: puppy dogs, Sundays, ice cream
TURN-OFFS: mean people, Charlie Daniels
HOBBIES: cheerleading
FAVORITE MOVIE: Strawberry Shortcake Meets the Berrykins
FAVORITE TELEVISION SHOW: California Dreams
FAVORITE SONG: “Brush Your Teeth” by Raffi
ROLE MODEL: carrots
FAVORITE FOOD: cereal
MARITAL STATUS: single

The Eta Omicron Zeta sorority house is a strange mélange of architectural styles. A standing monument to femininity. Rococo flourishes collide with the hard lines of Art Deco; all set in a sea of shocking pinks and tranquil blues. Barbara Jo emerges from the stairwell.

She is a beautiful creature: with her clean complexion, button nose, sapphire eyes, lollipop lips, butterscotch hair, and tanned, athletic build. Though in spite of her beauty, one is struck by a certain vapid quality in her blank stare.

We retire to the backyard, where two sun-dappled trampolines stand inert and black amidst the emerald hues of the well-manicured lawn. We sit side-by-side in matching lavender lounging chairs, sipping cool lemonade in the soft summer breeze.

Hello, Barbara Jo. It is a pleasure to meet you.
Hi, David.

My name is Garland Merriwether.
Where’s David?

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