Meet Sally Mae

SALLY MAE BEAUREGARD

Interview by David Fingerhut
Photography by Barnabas Savage

VITAL STATS

BORN: July 3, 1984
HOMETOWN: Meat Cove, Oklahoma
MAJOR: Agricultural Studies
HEIGHT (with hat): 5’ 11’’
HEIGHT (without hat): 5’ 7”
WEIGHT (with hat): 125 lbs 5 oz.
WEIGHT (without hat): 125 lbs 2 oz.
MEASUREMENTS: 34-20-36
TURN-ONS: Pony-tails, beards, distinctive guitar-straps
TURN-OFFS: The IRS, Charlie Daniels
HOBBIES: Cattle-branding, leather-working, Baccarat
FAVORITE MOVIE: Red-Headed Stranger
FAVORITE TELEVISION SHOW: Where the Hell’s That Gold?!!?
FAVORITE SONG: “Devil in a Sleepin’ Bag” by Willie Nelson
ROLE MODEL: Granny Clampett
FAVORITE FOOD: Chicken-fried kishke
MARITAL STATUS: Single

Sally Mae walks into the Hide and the Go Greek Restaurant looking a little confused and completely out of place. She’s a heapin’ slice of country pie, with a bouncy step and bouncier er- other things. She sits down and peruses the menu quizzically.

“What’s a pita?” Sally Mae asks with her befuddled, corn-fed half-smile.

We sit down to a plate of bourekia appetizers, which she sniffs suspiciously, but soon hungrily wolfs down between gulps of draft beer.

You were born on a farm. What was that like?
It’s a little piece of heaven on Earth. It’s so quiet an’ peaceful there. Every mornin’ you wake up to the sound of the rooster crowin’ and the sun just comes tiptoein’ through your window kinda’ sayin’, “Hey there. Good mornin’.”

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