By Andrew Reeves
We've
all been there before. Everyone is enjoying a company get together with an open
bar, and the next thing you know Kelly is dancing around without her shirt on.
While quite entertaining at the time, it almost always ends in a lot of HR
paperwork and having to find a new 2nd baseman for your company softball team.
Don't be like Kelly. Instead, download Funtoxication and use its built in BAC
calculator and mini-games to determine how sloshed you really are before you act
on that impulse to dance around topless to Born In The USA. I'll insert the same
disclaimer here that the developers put in the app info screen: Do not use this
as an entirely accurate measurement of your BAC. That job is should only be
trusted to psychics, or the cop who pulls you over after driving 120mph down the
wrong side of the freeway. Actually, if that last one happens, you're drunk.. or
highly unstable.. either way you can't hold the app responsible, so don't even
think about it.
The BAC calculator is pretty standard, but has multiple profile support so
you can also keep track of a select few drunkards in your party. Simply choose
an empty profile slot, tell it whether you're a male or female, enter your
weight, age (no cheating here, it's important), and start entering drinks from
the built in database as you consume them. At first I was worried about the time
tracking slider bar, which is a sensitive little input method for telling the
app how long you've been nursing your beer, but quickly realized that you only
have to modify it if you are putting drinks in after you started the app. If you
simply add drinks as you get them into your wobbly hands, the app will do the
time measurement for you and you can even let it run in the background. If at
any time you hit certain milestones, like a .10 BAC, the app will pop up a
message and offer to find you a cab, which is probably better than your wingman
would be able to do. The mini games are actually done really well, especially
for an app that would otherwise be considered a utility or toy. Choose from
Monkey Mash, Memory, or Gunman to test your reflexes. The game will use your
score to provide an appropriate one liner about your intoxication level, which
I'm sure will lead some of you to the inevitable argument with an inanimate
object. I had to deduct some points for ultra-sensitive slider bar, a menu
oversight, and a few crashes, but overall I would have never expected the
graphics, audio, and control aspects to hit the level they did in Funtoxication.
It's a clean and tidy app that doesn't miss the mark.
Final Rating: 92%
